operation harelip BJ is a go
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
