put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Green mimosas i think yes
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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