I just made out with a guy for $7.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
