I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
