I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
