I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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