hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
