dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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