i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
