dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
