Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
