found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
