He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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