The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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