chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
