Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
