I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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