next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
