Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
