I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
