I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
