she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
