i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
