I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
