I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
