Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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