my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
whose parrot is this?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
