I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
