she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
