What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
