What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
