Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
