She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
MIDGETS
????
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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