Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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