just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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