Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she told me i tasted like america
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
