Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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