I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
we should paint friendship bongs
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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