I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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