I just made out with a guy for $7.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
