i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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