I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
