Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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