now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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