Your tits are I can't wait for
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
