so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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