We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
