I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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