If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
