I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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