You're my little dorito
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Green mimosas i think yes
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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